Are you sitting comfortably? Then I’ll begin…

Welcome back dear reader. You surely can’t fail to notice I have been “blinged up” and now have colours and pictures on my page!  A wonderful friend took pity  on me and has been playing with my dashboard…at least I am reliably  informed that’s what it is called and it’s not a euphemism for something altogether different…Anyway, I LOVE it and am very grateful for his hard-won efforts. I am not sure if he wants a name check or not so at this point, I will just say thank you, you know who you are. He’s even promised to put together a crib sheet of things so I can (gasp!) upload photo’s and videos! Actually, seeing as this morning, I managed to use the printer to copy documents ALL BY MY SELF, you never know I might even figure some of it out myself….but don’t hold your breath.

So, I kind of feel we’ve got to know each other now. I’ve given you a bit of back story and shared a confession and therefore if you are still here by post number 4 or is it 5, then hopefully we are getting on well and you have a (vague) interest in what I witter on about.

Today my kids have been back at school for a whole week…..It feels both much longer and far shorter at the same time. We have regressed from being the smiley, polite, immaculate uniformed bunch that greeted each other brightly with jolly “Good Mornings” and deteriorated into grumpy, scruffy, over-tired, virtually mute, (unless it’s to trade insults over the breakfast cereals) lumps that are now counting the minutes to the weekend. Even the smallest member of our tribe asked me plaintively this morning “how many more sleeps Mummy before I can stay in bed again?!” The cat looked positively apoplectic with rage when the alarm dared to disturb her beauty sleep this morning and I felt much the same.

See we like our beds in this family; we are sleep cravers. Despite of course the younger ones telling me “I’m not tired” whilst actually collapsing backwards on the bed. I am trying to recall exactly when being sent to bed in the middle of the day stopped being a punishment and would now be construed as a reward, a prize amongst men that would be valiantly and jealously guarded.

We can’t be the only family on a lazy Sunday afternoon arguing over whose turn it is to entertain the children whilst the other one goes off to do chores (read into that sneak 40 winks) can we? Tell me that some of you out there appreciate the weather being just that little bit grotty enough that shoving on the latest Disney offering or something watched over and over again until the entire family knows the words (& songs!) is really rather fabulous?

We’ve got it down to a fine art in this house now. The kids whisk into PJ’s and bring duvets, pillows and assorted stuffed toys into the “cinema.” The blinds are drawn, the sofa’s relocated and popcorn aplenty we snuggle on the sofa’s, alternatively laughing/sobbing depending on the genre and there *may* be the occasional snore from any adult that happens to be present.

There are of course certain films that have proven to be a total disaster. Trying to find something that appeals to a 40 something, 30 something (just! clinging on by my teeth for a few more weeks so might as well make the most of it) a teenager,  “tweenager,” a 7-year-old boy and 5-year-old girl is  akin to finding the proverbial needle in the hay stack.

If you want some handy tips on this, I would veto “The Life of Pi.” Yes it may have been brilliant cinematography and been a wonderful book. The reality in my house however was 3 crying children, 1 howling and me wondering how much longer the torture would go on for. Ditto “Holes” – no screaming heebee jeebies but it’s the last time I let the 11-year-old be in charge of convincing me the film is a must see….the only must see about that one was the inside of my eyelids.

I’m not terribly convinced by Disney’s Planes either and the 5-year-old girl was also less than impressed by this one, although it did at least give me the opportunity to play on Facebook for a while. Curiously despite the abundance of testosterone in this house with 4 of the male variety, Frozen has gone down a storm and many of the Barbie films we own on DVD have proved compelling viewing. You can never beat a healthy dose of Minions in Despicable Me, original and number 2 to promote that Happy feeling…clap along if you feeeeeeellllll……yeah you now what I mean.

Of course I should add that even if you find the perfect film, there are pitfalls. I will not lie; there are toilet stops to be negotiated, who sits next to whom, whose got the most space/duvet/share of the cat BUT if we get it right, and it’s a very big BUT, it can be a lovely afternoon, where we almost hold up true to the moniker of The Walton’s themselves. Maybe no “g’night Jon-Boy” and more “give me a bit more blanket” but at least the sentence will likely finish with a please.

Yes, I know I on these wonderous weekend I should feel guilty and be entertaining the children making a replica model of the universe out of our recycling, sticky backed plastic, a wire coat hanger and an old cocoa tin, Blue Peter styleee but sometimes, just sometimes, it’s got to be ok to sneak in a nap….right???