I am *that* Mum…..*

Tomorrow is one of those school days that strikes fear in my heart every time it rolls round…and I’m sure it seems to be more often than once a year: World Book Day!

Don’t get me wrong, we LOVE books and reading in this household and the little 2 still love a bedtime story of an evening but, and it’s a very big BUT:  I hate, hate, hate the palaver of agreeing a costume with fussy off spring, (think negotiations that would have the UN weeping, weeping I tell you into their FairTrade, organic, earth friendly, GM free, soy free, dairy free, skinny, decaf foamed top latte)  sorting out said costume without spending a small fortune, or worst still having to make something Blue Peter style, all with the aid of some sticky backed plastic, a wire coat hanger and an old cocoa tin…and naturally finding of course that when the day itself strikes, obstreperous child has decided they no longer want to wear whatever it was that we eventually agreed on.

Minx has STILL not forgiven me for sending her in dressed as her favourite character when I mis-read the school news letter 18 months ago. Dressed as Hello Kitty, face painted to the nines (I was quite proud actually), I was just relieved to get her out the door, vaguely on time. Turns out she was supposed to be her favourite Roald Dahl character….she mutters mutinously about this on a regular basis; I fully expect to wake up one day and find a horses head or similar in my bed such is her displeasure and looooong memory; the mafia would be proud..and in my defence, I wasn’t the only parent who got it wrong – there was many an Elsa, Anna,  Jedi, Ninja etc.

I always have the best intentions. It’s not as if I haven’t known that World Book Day (WBD as it shall be known from here on – is it more than just co-incidence that WMD – weapons of mass destruction share similar initials?!) was rearing it’s ugly head. The supermarkets are full of natty dressing up costumes, my e-mail in-box is crammed with would be Amazon/Argos et al suggestions and Mumsnet is positively brimming with wholesomely good ideas of things I can make in my “spare” time. I can’t help thinking that’s for those smugly talented ex art school mums who can make a haute couture gown out of an old bed sheet rather than some fingers and thumbs wanna be who likes to get a bit trigger happy with a glue gun and some sequins when the children aren’t looking – can’t possibly get that stuff out in front of them, just imagine the mess. Shudders.

Then there are the even more earth-motherly brigade who will proudly post in a flourish  of FB collage pics the offering they have created lovingly TOGETHER with their offspring. A step-by step guide to how they put together The Very Hungry Caterpillar costume that instantly transforms not just from the caterpillar to pupae stage but onwards to full butterfly glory complete with working proboscis at the mere flick of a press stud and then self deridingly say “Oh well I let DD/DS (darling daughter/son for those not in the “know”) do ALL their own work really, I just helped with the dangerous bits…..sheesh….

So as I mentioned, it’s the day before WBD and number 3 son, whose in an almighty cob-on with me anyway hasn’t agreed the costume. We had agreed Harry Potter (easy enough) then Horrid Henry (now too baby-ish apparently) and finally Jack from David Walliam’s  Grandpa’s Great Escape. In theory, I should grab that character with open arms -jeans and a t-shirt, it’s a no brainer. But in reality, I will look like one of *those* mum’s that has forgotten or worse still, can’t be bothered to make any effort.

My tearful pleadings (slight over-exaggeration, more vague grumbles) that perhaps he could go as Grandpa himself complete with blazer, face painted moustache and war medals have fallen on deaf ears. So here I sit procrastinating, wondering if I can make a paper-mache SpitFire that could somehow attach to G Man’s body via elastic or similar so he at least looks as if I have vaguely tried?! Will it dry in time, where IS that glue gun…..Even the netters costume guide of The BFG looks easier than a fully scaled Spitfire but he won’t be persuaded. Sigh.

Minx on the other hand is going as Ariel from the Little Mermaid. She is merely demanding hair dye of the orange hue and an intricately woven plait that will need at least  a You-Tube demonstration and preferably a quick crash course with Charles Worthington to produce. Since we luckily have a mermaid costume to hand (doesn’t everyone?!) and even one that fits her Build-A-Bear she is relatively easy to please. Of course trying to persuade her that she will NEED (have) to wear leggings and a long sleeve top under said costume, since it’s March and snowing, is proving more of a challenge….I can’t possibly be *that* Mum that sends her child in inappropriate school wear again can I?!

Well if you don’t hear from me for a while via FB/blogging, I have either had an incident with a rogue stapler, poster paint and empty washing up bottle or my children have once again disowned me and actually done away with me for good since I am just too embarrassing for words……   🙂IMG_0047IMG_5248

 

 

 

 

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